Dear Law of Averages,

I thought we've been through this before. You are not my friend. Okay you're my friend when something bad happens first and then something good happens, but you're not my friend when it's the reverse. We're not going to be best buds. I'm not going to braid your hair. You're the proverbial thorn in my paw. You're that kid in the neighborhood that nobody wanted to play with when we were younger.

Piss off,

James

The good: At Sunday night's Unplugged in the Park, I won tickets to see Candlebox tonight. Apparently all that thunder and lightning Sunday night was a good thing, because it kept most people from the outdoor concert. Only a few of us were brave enough to sit under an aluminum tent surrounded by tall trees. That increased my chances for being the big winner of the night. Well that and my "loudest person in a bar" call that worked so well at Wild Wings all those years.

My date for Sunday night selflessly accepted the invitation for the free show tonight, so that was good too.

The bad: At midnight last night I was hollering "Why, God, why?!" while I was placing my nice cooking pot under a stream of water in a completely new place in my ceiling. While I was positioning that pot, the original leak resprung and began to pee on my kitchen counter. This time, a plastic container went under that current of water. Slowly drips began in 4 other places. My apartment sounded like the rain shower from Bambi where each rain drop plays a different note. I called the emergency maintenance man who told me that I lived too far away for him to come out last night and that I needed to wait. I told him I would convey his message to management in the morning.