Dear Law of Averages,

You effing suck. I really hate you. Tell your cousin Marshall I feel the same about him too.

Screw you both,
James

My ceiling is fixed. Not without calling the local housing authorities and contacting a lawyer, but my ceiling is fixed. I had still felt wronged by my apartment complex. Throughout the 5 week ordeal, they didn't even provide me with so much as a tarp to collect the falling plaster. Not one damn bucket for the pee-colored rain dripping in my kitchen. After another call to the manager, I demanded concessions on my rent. "My apartment has not been up to building code for over a month," I told them. "That's 30 days where I faithfully paid rent, and 30 days where you did not keep your end of the contract we made. My apartment is not 'habitable' by legal definition. You couldn't have rented this apartment out in the condition it was in, so you can't expect me to pay the full month's rent."

So they made concessions with me.

I thought about what I could do with the money I would not be paying towards next month's rent. I can finally get that digital camera, I thought. I am the only person in the world that doesn't have one. I can't keep relying on my camera phone.

It sounded like a good idea and it made me happy. Finally something was happening my way. I left work a couple minutes early to go make my purchase and when I stuck my key in the ignition, it made a funny noise, like a dying robot. The battery was completely dead. I couldn't even lock my doors to go back in the building. After asking around I found a couple of people who could jump start my truck and I promptly drove to a parts place. They tested my battery and smiled crookedly while they told me I needed a new one. They also laughed that they had never seen a battery die for no reason during the summer months before, only the winter months.

Now I am the owner of a new car battery, but not a digital camera.

So screw you, Law of Averages. And your little dog too.