My pretty

I want you to meet Patsy, my new phone:

She's not much to look at, but it's what inside that counts (That's what my parents tell me anyways, but I think they're full of it.) Patsy also doubles as an MP3 player and a digital camera (with flash) that work off a removable memory card. She has stereo speakers, so I don't have to use head phones for the MP3 player if I don't want to. There is also a cool visual equalizer for cool graphics. Best of all, Patsy gets service so I can actually talk on the phone again! Now, you must excuse me, we have some alone time we want to spend together...

I'm cool now

It only took six years after high school ended, but I finally got invited to a kegger by the cool kids of my graduating class.

A Thanksgiving tale of woe and imagination

For reasons beyond me, I am the one who turned out to be the black sheep of the family. I mean I went through school, follow the law, I don't do drugs, and I'm pretty giving of myself- I don't get why I don't fit in with my family. I'm a good person! I often find myself average among a group of elites.

The worst part is when I try to fit in. I wear the Ralph Lauren khakis and sweater set, flash the smile, and follow the proper etiquette. Then it comes- why is my hair blond? Why isn't it my natural color? Am I still looking for a proper job or have I become the retail clerk of the family? I get taller every holiday and why am I not married yet?

It makes me want to rebel against my family and give them everything that they talk about behind my back. It makes me want to show up for Christmas wearing that butterfly beaded backless shirt and a leather skirt (which almost fit again.) That way, I can control what they are saying about me.

With that, I give you this year's Thanksgiving criticisms:

• Ladies do not say "butt," they say "heinie."
• "Kick-ass" is not a good description of the cracker and cheese platter.
• "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yea God," is not an appropriate Thanksgiving prayer.
• It also not appropriate to teach this prayer to my 6 nieces and nephews.
• When I pulled the Scrabble tile C, being thankful for "My bartender, Charlie" was not a sincere gesture.
• It is frowned upon having just alcohol at my place setting. Apparently, I should have a water glass too to keep up with the appearance of my sobriety.
• It is, however, decent for one of my brothers to say, "So you're where all the beer went."

Dear Diary

I had a dear diary moment yesterday... I found gas for under $2 a gallon. It is the first time I have over half a tank in my truck since August!

Conversation @ 2:30 am

Drew: Thanks for coming to my show, man.
Jamie: No problem! I had a great time.
Drew: I didn't think you would come.
Jamie: I told you I would!
Drew: Yeah, but Butch Walker was playing at the 40 Watt.
Jamie: Are you serious!!!
Drew: Yeah. Drive by, I'm sure the marquee will still have his name
up.
Jamie: If I had known that, I wouldn't have gone to your show.
Drew: I know, that's why I didn't tell you.

Instead of working out today, I went to Ikea. 3 hours later and I'm just as sore and tired as if I had actually worked out.

I'm an ASSHOLE!

So I joined Myspace, and as irritating as it is, I was able to get in contact with a lot of lost friends. And they all had something really nice to say about me. Here's a sampling:

Ian: "And even in the 'midst of a quarterlife existential crisis' you seem to pull off amazingly cute and endearing as well as, or more than, ever....You've always had the greatest smile!!""

Johanna: "This is crazy (and I swear I'm not kidding) but I was just talking the other day about something you said once that I never forgot. Remember that day in math class when you were telling me how you told some guy that his hair was so great that you could run naked through it all day? I know I'm not losing my mind! I don't know how I remember that but I do! I still think that's the best line ever!"

(I remember saying that now, but I wish I remembered that line when I was in college. Could have picked up A LOT more guys!)

Joe: "This is crazy, I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering if there was any way I could get in touch."

I'M AN ASSHOLE!!! Here are all these really nice people that think of me well and consider me their friends, and I haven't spoken to them in over 6 years! I'm a horrible person! Why didn't I keep in touch? A phone call or even an e-mail? Never in my life have I felt so guilty. What was I running away from that made me forget all of these people? When I went away to college, I never looked back on high school. I left like it was a triumph! A victory I had over the school. I didn't even realize there were good things that I left behind.

Oh, and to the guy I said I could run naked through his hair all day? I'm sorry. I know you were mortified when I said that to you. I know you're probably gay now and it's my fault...

A plane, a country, and a political title

So I didn't win the lottery and I was bummed at first- I had great plans for that $225 mil. But good news! Nobody won and now it's up to $310 million, which means I can just give away that extra $85 mil.

I'll have a real post soon, I swear

I have more bounce than California

I bought 5 tickets today for the 225 million dollar jackpot. I've never played the lottery before, but I will for $225 mil! If I win, each of you will get a new car. I also plan to purchase a kick-ass apartment in New York, a Land Rover, and a wing of a hospital. My new job will be "student of the world" and you won't see me because I'll be traveling for the next 2 years. Wish me luck!

This is what I have decided about my cell dilemma. Will wait until pink one is released in December and see what kind of offers I can get with it. If I can't get anything good then I will get this one and attach this.

I have to have one of these

The beautiful new pink Razr is coming out next month. My contract is up on November 11 and I have decided to leave T-Mobile. I've been with them for 5 years and it's been a good experience, but I unfortunately don't get service at the house where I live. Since I'm here most of the time, this is a necessity. My step-mom has Cingular and gets service at the house, so I was planning on going with them. Here's my dilemma: if I go to Cingular on November 11, I can get a black Razr for free with my new service. If I really want the pink one, I have to wait another month- which isn't a big deal- but I have no idea of the cost or if my free offer will apply to the pink one as well. What should I do?

A Halloween post

I didn't have any plans for this year for Halloween. The past couple of years, I always meet guys on Halloween and then get into serious relationships with them. This year, I wanted to stay the eff inside with the curtains drawn to prevent this from happening again. Hmmm, maybe it was my costume...

Anyways, I was organizing my hard drive the other day- a very tedious, but rewarding task- and I found Halloween pictures from the past years. For your viewing pleasure, I present to you my Halloween history:





And bonus points if you can tell me what my friend is here: