Thursday, June 16, 2005

I should have called the lady back and asked her to title this post for me

One thing I never imagined in the working world is the number of complaints you get from retarded people. These people are so stupid: I really think they should actually qualify for mental retardation. My favorite will always be this. I have yet to hear a story that tops that.

But I literally just took this call at work:

Jamie: Hello?
Moron: Yes we have a problem with some chairs you sent us.
Jamie: What's the problem?
Moron: We've received complaints that the seats on the chairs lean
forward.
Jamie: I don't understand...
Moron: Our customers are falling out of the chairs.
Jamie: What?!
Moron: The seats on the chairs lean forward too much, causing our
customers to fall out of them.
Jamie: Fall out of the chair...
Moron: Yes. We're worried that it's going to result in us getting
sued. If that happens, we'll sue you.
Jamie: Because people are falling out of the chairs...
Moron: Yes.
Jamie: Do they land?
Moron: Pardon me?
Jamie: Well, are they falling to the ground? Or are they able to catch
themselves in time?
Moron: I don't know.

This dialogue continued a little while longer, with me repeating "people are falling out of the chairs" as many times as possible. I was hoping she would catch on to exactly how retarded this sounded, but she never caught on, keeping her serious tone with how she was going to sue.

Can you picture this? Imagine eating dinner at a nice restaurant. All of a sudden a man 3 tables behind you throws his hands up in the air and screams while what looks like him being yanked under the table, Jaws style. He disappears under the table cloth. A lady 2 tables to your left mimics the same being dragged under water motions. Another man at the table next to you. It's becoming an epidemic. Random people throughout the restaurant are screaming and disappearing under the table cloths, accumulating many injuries. Obviously. A broken knee, stitches, a whole battery of lawsuits awaits.

Cracks my ass up. I'll be laughing at this all day.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

LMAO. I loved your conversation, I could just imagine the tone in your voice because I know I have had it many times with people. Isn't customer service the greatest.

Oh and chalk lines on the hood? WOW! That lady lost her mind.

Jeff said...

Thanks for visiting my blog! I used to work in customer service answering phones and I can totally relate to how STUPID and IDIOTIC people are. I can't count the number of times I've talked to a retard! Anyway, thanks again for visiting my blog, i appreciate it!

Ryon said...

C'mon, not a year goes by. Not a year. That I don't hear about some poor bastard who can no longer enjoy things like you and I do, because he fell out of his chair that was about two to three feet high and slid under the table. It is an epidemic. It is nothing to laugh at. You should be ashamed of yourself. I, myself, am shocked and appalled at your lack of sympathy for this problem.

Jamie said...

I would swear on a stack of Bibles that it wasn't.

Ryon said...

Hello, thanks for the comment on my blog.

Oh, I love "Fix you"! I have wanted the song since I heard it playing in the background of The O.C. As soon as the show was over I ran to the computer to see if I could find it. No luck. I just downloaded it from iTunes when it was released. It is such a beautiful and moving song.

aprilbapryll said...

I wonder if they put the seats on backwards. that happens with office chairs, and they lean slightly forward and cause great dissatisfaction. Yeah, I'd check on that. It's usually their fault.

Jamie said...

This is the thing- it was a wood chair put together here at the factory. It doesn't swivel or lean. Arg, I don't know....

 

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