The job interview

[Disclaimer- this is my opinion and feelings about the following business and is no way to be taken as actual fact.]

I got called for a job interview the other week. The previous day I had been extraordinarily frustrated with Monster.com and in a fit, I submitted resumes to jobs for the sake of applying. One of them called me back the next morning and wanted an interview for that afternoon. I scheduled the interview and immediately logged on to Monster to see what the hell it was for.

Turned out it was for a sales position in a marketing company. I googled the company name to learn about it for the interview. I find that employers are particularly impressed if you know a lot about them before the first interview. However, nothing came up about the company. The only places the company name came up were on job finder websites, stating that they are hiring. They were advertised EVERYWHERE, but outside the job finder sites, they didn't exist.

I decided to go to the interview anyways, for practice if nothing else. I looked up the address where they were located and it was a good area. I would love to work in that area- it was in the posh part of Atlanta.

I comb the hair and put on the suit and went to the interview. I walk in the office and the space is so tiny there is only a front desk and 2 offices in the back. The waiting area was full of other people waiting for their interviews. And by full, I mean there are 4 other people there, but the waiting area was jammed, that's how small the space was.

I brought my book and was staring at one sentence while listening to the others, sizing them up. The guy next to me rattled on about how poor he was. He said he had a $100 to his name and went to Lenox Mall and found these gorgeous suede boots with heels on sale for $80. He bought the boots for when he goes clubbing and had to borrow the $1.25 bus fare to get here. He said his last job was a seasonal position at K-Mart. (Don't they only do that at Christmas time?) He said he's applied for several credit cards, but no one will give him one because he has no previous credit. He then said he really wanted a credit card and began to cry. (Not making this up.)

I began to seriously worry about the job interview I was at. I had no idea what this was for and the company was unlisted and what kind of standards are they using to grant interviews to both me and the loony next to me.

While this is going on, disco music is being played at the front desk/waiting area/ front door/ half of the office way too loudly for a business environment. The guy next to begins to sing along. I wonder if I had seen him before and replayed American Idol's "Best of the worst" clips in my head. The girl at the front desk addresses us and tells us to begin dancing, but just stay off the coffee table because it's made out of glass and could break under too much weight. Wildly, I look at the others in the room. The girl on the other side me had graduated from Tuscaloosa 3 days earlier and this was her first interview out of college. I was afraid for her. Panicking, I looked at the others: 3 girls and the gay guy. It hit me- the job was for a strip club or some escort agency.

Thankfully, the others had declined the invitation to dance, but not on the coffee table because it's made out of glass. A very good looking man appeared from the back office and called the girl next to me for her interview. The girl from the front desk got up and called another girl into the other office for her interview. I did the math of our arrivals and figured out that I would interview with the extreme hottie.

45 minutes after my arrival, Mr. Hottie called both me and another girl for a joint interview. Wha? He asked the girl, who currently sells shoes for Stride Rite, exactly five questions, turned to me and asked me the same five:

1. What are two intangible assets you could bring to the business?
2. What's one drawback?
3. How would your best friend describe you in one word?
4. How long have you known your best friend?
5. What do you do for fun?

Within 10 minutes, both of our interviews were finished. He then asked if we had any questions. The girl next to me shook her head no- she obviously was not a thinker. I almost shouted "Yes!" He looked at me. "You say [the business] is in marketing, who are your clients?" (They have just one- Bellsouth) "Do you have any plans to acquire additional clients?" (No- Bellsouth takes up a lot of time) "You say you have a way of advertising better than Bellsouth's resources, what is it?" (Outside sales- very vague answer) "Do you work in their commercial or residential markets, or both?" (Residential) I couldn't think of any more questions and felt like I was drilling him, so I decided to shut up.

Mr. Hottie informed us that he would call us at 5:45 pm to schedule a second interview, where we would learn more about the job, it's pay, benefits, etc. If he did not call us at 5:45, then we were not selected for the second interview.

I got the call. Part II resumes tomorrow.