Shake your groove thang, your groove thang, yeah

One night in Peachtree City with Baby turned into two. I decided to get my truck fixed and the mechanic took all day to change my effing brakes. Baby made it up to me by taking me to a Japanese restaurant, which is becoming my favorite food right now. We sat down at the hibachi grill. I find that these can be a gamble because I think the outcome of the meal is directly affected by who else is seated at your table. For the first time the entire table was occupied by 20-something professionals. The cook mentions that he would like a sake bomb and before we knew it, it was 25 sake bombs later and we forgot we came there to eat. He finished putting the plates in front of us and we said, "Food? Oh...right... Forgot we came here for that."

I think it was the best food I had from a hibachi experience as well, but I can't remember.

Completely tanked, Baby and I decided to stop at a bar on the way home. We hadn't eaten and were in a drinking groove that we wanted to continue. Once we were in the bar, I learned that it was male review night. Baby encouraged me to check it out, the rest of the bar not sectioned off for the review was just men waiting to prey on they thought were "easy, horny women" leaving the review. After another beer, I ducked in.

The portion of the bar sectioned off for the male review was decorated with banquet chairs and drunk women much older than me. I didn't know anyone so I stood with a group at the bar. One woman was really drunk and looking to hook up with one of the men waiting to prey on the other part of the bar, so I guess the men were right in their assumptions. I took her outside and introduced her to Baby and the group of men talking with him.

After our spin outside, we went back into the male review and waited for the next act. It was my first time attending one of these functions and she gave me a briefing on what to expect and handed me a dollar. I told her I didn't want to interact with the stripper and I that I had a man already, but she instructed me to put a dollar in my shirt collar and he would grab it out with his neck. She then dissappeared to the stage to await her personal lap dance. It seemed innocent enough (the dollar in the collar, not the lap dance.)

When he got to me I stuck the dollar in my shirt, but instead of grabbing it with his neck, he pulls it out with his hands and turns me around to face the bar, with my back to everyone else. He then bends me over the bar and spanks me in front of everyone. My face is pushed against the sticky countertop and I am uncontrollably laughing out of both humiliation and sheer drunkenness. All the girls were cheering/screaming/laughing. I swear at one point I felt something hard on the back of my legs. When he was done I turned around to look at the girl who gave me the dollar and she was whooping and laughing hysterically. Afterwards she confirmed my suspicions by stating she couldn't believe he rubbed it on me and that she had never seen what he did to me before.

I ran outside and climbed in Baby's lap. I told him I had been violated and he, too, laughed at me. I begged to leave and he took me home. I can't remember the last time I faced public humiliation like that. Point is: male review is not sexy and only go if you want to laugh at yourself.