Just for Girls: an ode to razertuc

Warning: this is pretty disgusting.
Inspired by his comment left here.

Man, periods totally suck. I'm glad I have all this space here to discuss all forums for the period. I don't like 'em. I got on Depro Provera, the birth control shot that makes your period stop, and instead of it stopping, I had it for 3 months straight! That sucked. You know what else sucks about the period? You lose, like, 3 cups of blood. Every month. Um, perfectly good blood for third world countries people! The Red Cross is, like, so insensitive. We could donate our tampons for blood transfusions of AIDS babies in Ethiopia.

I totally hate PMS. The worse thing about it is I get all crazy-like and drive myself nuts, then one trip to the toilet and I'm totally like, no wonder! It's funny how girls who are close get their periods at the same time. I bet men who live with like 3 girls totally hate it when they all get their periods simultaneously. Oh! That was a big word! Hold on, I better rest a minute from using such a big word...

Okay, I'm back. I thought I was gonna pass out. All the blood rushed out of my head, I bet you know where it went! You know what's worse than having your period, um, having a baby! You think periods are gross? Giving birth is totally yuckier. Do you know that when women have babies the skin that separates their vagina and butt rips and it becomes one open cavity? That sucks. They have to, like, sew you back together. Nothing like pissing and shitting while trying to give birth and have 10 people staring at your vagina! That's why I'm not having babies!

But back to periods, because that is what cyber space is all about! I notice that only whites and blacks use tampons. Are Mexican and Chinese afraid of them? All they use are those big ugly pads. Um, excuse me, but unsightly bulges in my pants is NOT a cool wardrobe accessory. That is totally not in style!

I totally believe that women are governed by the moon. 28 days for a complete moon phase and 28 days between periods! A full gestation period is 280 days, which may be 9 months by our calendar year, but it would totally be 10 months if we have our months cycle with the moon and our periods! How, like, weird is that? Plus women have more water in them then men do and the moon controls the tide. Full moons also cause road kill because the animals go out at night when it is super bright outside from the full moon and that's why they get hit! Road kill is yucky. Just like periods!

Okay, time for shopping! We can continue this convo later. 28 days later!