I decided to get a haircut during my lunch hour today. Before I left, I looked up salons in the phone book and decided upon Great Clips. Normally I would never set foot in such an abomination, but I didn't have time to schedule an appointment and it was either Great Clips or Rhonda's House of Braids.

I walk in and the lady asked if I ever had a haircut there before. "No," I responded, almost proudly. She made me give her my name, address, and phone number in order to get a freakin' haircut. Is this normal? Are we in a society where we have to divulge personal information in order to partake in minute transactions? For a $10,000 loan I will give you my address and phone number, but not for a $11 haircut! I asked her why and she said it was for marketing and research purposes. Every time I have given out that response "marketing and research" always meant not only "advertising" but "the kind of advertising where we sell your information."

I walked through a Kroger parking lot and saw smaller scale billboards advertising Western Union. Billboards, shopping carts, special cards in order to get sale prices (no doubtedly used for "marketing" purposes. You have to give them your name, address, and phone number for that as well) Wal-mart now has commercials that play on screens when you pump gas. I'm so damn sick of it.

I see I've gone too far. This wasn't supposed to be a diatribe on the evils of advertising, a profession I once wanted. By the way, the lady at Great Clips was noticeably balding and sporting a mullet.

I'm afraid.

No, I didn't err, this is how he wrote it

"Love is when you take it from you mouth and put it into you butt.

True love is when you take it from you butt and put it into you mouth."

---Harry Crews

Our Top 5

There is an episode of "Friends" where Ross and Rachel each create a list of 5 famous people that, given the opportunity, he or she can sleep with without suffering consequences from the other. To be blunt, these are 5 people they can screw without "cheating."

My better half and I have each created our own lists:

My Top Five:
1. Johnny Depp
2. Michael Rosenbaum
3. Evan Farmer
4. Scott Foley
5. Shawn Hatosy

Baby's Top Five:
1. Heather Graham
2. Shannon Elizabeth
3. Kristin Kreuk
4. Petra Nemcova
5. Natalie Portman

I told him he was throwing a slot away on Shannon Elizabeth because she's married and he's more than likely not on her list, but he's holding tight on that one. For me, Evan Farmer is going to be removed from my list if his hair gets any longer.

So I have a new job, I am again employed and therefore another productive member of society. It's not very interesting so I won't go into details. In the interview, my boss said he was looking for someone with a great personality and that he found that in me. Today he might have gotten a little more than he bargained for: every time he walked by my desk I "booed" him. First it started out low so he could barely hear it and could wonder if it was aimed at him. By the end of the day, he received a "BOO!"

He says this is an interesting partnership.

It's official, I'm insane

I stood in Wal-Mart for 10 minutes today deciding to buy toilet paper either from the brand with puppies on the wrapper or the brand with a cartoon bear on the wrapper.

The puppies won.

It's a sad day in Athens...

The house that inspired the B52s' hit "Love Shack" burned down in Athens today. The only thing left according to police reports was the tin roof-

I wonder if it was still rusted...

I spent my night tonight at Indie Rock Karaoke by my very dear friend, Geoff. Apparently every one of my friends but me has been attending this for the past 2 months. I tested "Maps" by the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs and won considerable applause.

Then I came home and taught my dog to respond by wooing every time I said, "Craig is a cheating whore."

The kitchen is smoking so I better go see what I drunkenly burned.