Quotes from last night

JAMIE: Hi Jef, I'm Jamie. Nice to meet you.
JEF: Yes, we've met before. You were in your underwear.
JAMIE: ...If you were only the first person that's said that to me.

(At the Mexican restaurant, G orders some queso dip. It arrives with a plate of tortillas for dipping. Everyone grabs a tortilla and begins to tear it apart. G, however, lays hers pancake-style on top of the bowl of queso dip and watches it sink. Everyone laughs as she then fishes it out with her fork and then rolls it up. Cheese is everywhere. She then tries to fold it, but cheese is pouring off the tortilla and running down her wrists. The rest of the table is doubled-over laughing.)

BONNIE: Have you never had tortillas with cheese dip before?!
G: No.
JAMIE: That just made my entire night. And it's not even 8 o'clock yet!

(4 out of the 6 people used to work at the same telemarketing company in college. Like a Michael Stipe sighting, it was a rite-of-passage for living in Athens.)

JAMIE: Did anyone else get put on the sex products program?

(Two shake their heads no, having no idea the program was even there. BONNIE gets excited.)

BONNIE: Yeah! (Explaining) It was mostly herbal supplements. You know, for penis enlargement and the like. I got so many prank calls on that. It was hilarious!
JAMIE: You know those 1-800 numbers in the back of magazines advertising that junk? Those calls have to go to somebody. Well, in college they went to Bonnie and me. (Pause) So you know when you don't really know what someone is asking, you were supposed to recite the question back to them? (Everyone nods) Well I had my own vocabulary when working those calls because we were mixed in and sitting with people working on all the other programs. Instead of saying "penis," I would say "shaft." Instead of saying "erect," I would say "obtain the desired effect." I was so proud of myself. Well this one guy calls up and he's not making any sense and he's running the conversation in circles, and I got confused, so I just recited the question back to him:

"You can't get hard?"

(Everyone doubles over laughing again.) I know! Both people on either side of me were in the middle of taking Bank of America credit card applications and they just stopped and looked at me! Even the supervisor heard and popped his head up to make sure I was legit!
JEF: I bet he was like, "No personal calls, please!"