I spread the spirit of Christmas wherever I go

I try to work on my road rage, I really do. And I think I'm getting better at it.

Not.

I had a Buddhist boyfriend once. Needless to say, we were exact opposites. He would actually thank people as he passed them. I asked him how he could not freak the eff out when people unceremoniously cut him off. How some mornings it would get so bad it would make me late to work. How it's a blatant disrespect to me and my truck. How I hate their false sense of entitlement. He told me that it was okay because he viewed it as aiding them in doing something more important.

"So you think what they are driving like assholes for is automatically more important than what you're off to do?"

"Well, they obviously think so."

"That makes no sense."

"If I can help them get to where they are going faster, then good on me."

I think I pffawed before breaking into uncontrollable laughter. He seemed annoyed. Not very Buddhist of him in my opinion. He was aiding in my laughter.

Today I found myself in another "situation." It escalated to the point where I got out of my truck to holler at him. Good news is if worse case scenario ever comes true, and I find myself homeless and living on Boulevard, I know I can hold my own. I'll be just fine.

We shouted at each other and drew a small crowd. Finally, I had had it.

"You know what? YOU KNOW WHAT?"

He and his wife stopped yelling.

I leaned across the hood of my truck, cocked my head and smiled. "Merry Christmas," and gave them the double bird, a gesture I don't think I've ever actually used before.

Their mouths dropped, and they stayed silent. I got in my truck and smiled again before leaving, with visions of Clark W. Griswold dancing in my head. (Hey kids, look, a deer!)

Yup, I'll be just fine on Boulevard. As well as in the pits of hell.