Let's get high on NyQuil and hibernate

I didn't think I would have anything to write about this morning so I was planning to tell a story, but then I got out of bed.

My head is still stuffy and I think I actually felt worse this morning than previous mornings. My symptoms have compounded into something that can only be relieved by a DayQuil, which was at work. I would have to wait an hour or so to feel better.

I follow my morning routine on autopilot, not really thinking about anything. Despite the dog's reluctance to go out, nothing was unusual.

I closed the door to my apartment and locked it while balancing my two glasses: a glass of Slim Fast for my breakfast, and a glass of iced tea for my caffeine at work.

I've been taking a new way to work this week and I get stopped at a light. I pick up the glass of Slim Fast and take a sip.

It happened in slow motion: I lowered my arm to put the glass back in the cup holder. The glass slipped out of my hands at the last couple of inches, bounced off the corner of the cup holder, and dumped in my lap.

Nooooooooo!

It was too late. I was completely covered in chocolate milk. I looked up helplessly: the light was still red and there was nowhere for me to go. I let out a small cry while chocolate milk ran down my legs and collected in my seat. I could feel my butt slowly getting soaked. My hands were dripping from where I tried to catch the glass. Chocolate milk ran down the console and began to drip on the carpet.

I looked in my backseat hoping to find a towel that I mysteriously left there and forgot about and found only my tennis shoes. This became the longest light in history. "Ewww! This is so gross!" I cried.

I had a box of wetnaps for little accidents but I knew that they were no match for a disaster of this proportions. I rolled down my window and shook out my hands onto the pavement, the last thing I needed was to spread this sticky mess onto the steering wheel. I sucked on my fingers trying to get the last of the milk.

It didn't help. The second I touched the steering wheel, I felt it get sticky and gross. The light finally changed and I made an illegal u-turn and drove back home.

I walked into the office almost a half hour late. "My, you look nice," Erin said.

"Oddly enough, this isn't my first outfit for today."

If anyone has any luck, please send it my way. I fear I have run out of good fortune and soon must be forced to repost those lame ass bulletins on MySpace. I didn't believe them when they said that if I didn't repost then something bad will happen to me. It says if I repost, my crush will kiss me.

*Crosses fingers and hopes Patrick Dempsy knows the way to my apartment*