Miss Daisy's Driving

I opened my mailbox and pulled out a "Sorry we missed you!" slip from the post office. My first package from a blogger arrived. I flipped the card over and looked at the post office address and promptly swore. The package was not waiting at the post office across the street from me; it was waiting at the main office downtown.

Okay, so Downtown is only a few miles from me, about a five minute drive, but I hate going there. I am comfortable with Buckhead, Virginia Highland, and Midtown, but not Downtown. Downtown is very poor, filled mainly with homeless people and crack addicts and I don't go that way unless I have to. But I had a really bad day and wanted something to smile about, I wanted my package.

I looked outside: it was dusk. I hate downtown when it's daylight, the fact it's cloudy and only getting darker made me uneasy. I went to my apartment, leashed up my dog and took her with me. She's my security blanket. I figure most of the people roaming the streets downtown did not see "Snow Dogs," so they don't know my wolf-like dog is actually not wolf-like at all.

It's hard to get lost in Atlanta. I just pick a skyscraper that's near where I'm going and drive towards it. For the post office, I drive towards the Capitol Building, which is impossible to miss because its dome is encrusted in gold. With this system, I rarely pay attention to street names and signage; I'm mainly looking up to see if I'm heading towards my skyscraper. For this reason, I've had many follies: I've driven through red lights, cut people off; basically I turn into the worse driver ever.

I find the Capitol, I find my street, and I eventually find the post office. The only people out obviously have nowhere to go. Some simply dance on the street corners. I look in the backseat to see if Nikita is looking ferocious. She has her head out the window, smelling.

The post office's gates are closed. I pick up the card and check it again; it's supposed to be open until 8:30pm. I drive up to the next gate-- closed. Before I know it, I've passed the post office and am working my way by the next government building. Frustrated, I speed up to the corner and make a left. Something about that intersection didn't seem right to me, but I didn't care, I just wanted to get my package and go home.

It didn't hit me until I made it to the next light: I was driving the wrong way day a one way road. I knew this because there was no turning lane for me and the light was above my head, facing the opposite direction. I swear yet again and stop, trying to figure out what I can do. And that was the exact moment I saw it, the police cruiser. Behind the wheel is a short black woman who can barely see over the steering wheel.

I know she's going to pull me over and I wonder if she'll buy my lame excuse that I was discombobulated. To hell with it, I thought and made an illegal left turn to get back on the right street. That's 3 tickets: one for going the wrong way, one for the left turn, and one for the seatbelt I wasn't wearing. Looking into the rear-view mirror, I see the cop was going to turn, but decided not to at the last minute. I swear, again, and double check that I have all my paperwork.

I find the open post office gate and pull inside, all the while checking my rear-view to see if the cop is going to follow me. She didn't. I didn't even see the cop car. So I have to give her credit because she clearly contradicted my post last week. Then again, she may not have seen me over the steering wheel.