It's not the toilet's fault your sh*t stinks

If you know me in physical form, not Biblical for you perverts, then you've seen me drink a beer and tell you about a project I recently had for work. I had to research the literal ins and outs of waterless urinals. You heard me describe videos I had to watch with fake pee going down drains. You know how disgusted I was with the entire project, but what a conversational piece it was! You would laugh and bring it up the next time you saw me, asking me about the wonderful world of waterless urinals. (Say that 3 times fast, I can't even do it now.)

I didn't think it was possible, but I got that project beat:

Dual-flush toilets.

It doesn't sound as glamorous as waterless urinals, but what the urinal lacks in poop factor, the dual-flush toilet more than makes up for. In essence, it's a toilet that has 2 buttons- 1 type of flush for "number ones" and another for "number twos."

Sounds alright and perhaps even environmentally friendly, right? What you don't know is that people love talking about their bowel movements on the internet. For your pleasure, okay my pleasure because I have the maturity level of a 4-year-old boy, I'm going to give clips of my research:

• Note: Small children may be startled by the sudden action of the Flushmate and PF/2 equipped toilets. For those that like to sit down when you flush, consider toilets that are listed as quiet. www.terrylove.com/crtoilet.htm


• The stench factor from very little water in the bottom of the toilet and the splash back from the water being so far down in the bowl is still an issue but I'm ok with it since it actually flushes and doesn't get clogged. And believe me...I know how to clog em. www.terrylove.com/wwwboard/messages2/50684.html


• One has to try to target the dropping of feces so that it lands in the very small pool of water. If one doesn't, there is a smeared mess on the porcelain to clean up. www.terrylove.com/wwwboard/messages2/50684.html

• www.terrylove.com/crtoilet.htm


and the height and seat etc are perfect for this guy who likes to read a lot on the throne. www.terrylove.com/wwwboard/messages2/42892.html


Also, there is very little, if any, problem with bowl stains. The "material" zooms right out of the bowl--it doesn't "swirl" around, which causes stains. http://terrylove.com/forums/showthread.php?t=663


If I could post the video clip of a guy sailing a rubber ducky down a half-pipe to simulate poop going down the drain, I would. If you really want to see the clip, it's here.

My poor cubical neighbors heard me having all the fun. It's a dead silent office interrupted by a loud and abrupt "HA!" coming from my cubical about every 15 minutes.

And this had me giggling for about 3 hours:

click for larger image

My favorite part is that they use "suicide-resistance" not as a feature, but the lead feature. That and it's called the penal-ware series.

I love my job.