Why I love R Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet"

Looks like I'm not the only one reading into "Trapped in the Closet!"

I want to clarify that, although there is a lot to read into it, I don't think R Kelly intended any of the subtexts. I think these are either stirrings of unconscious desires or someone else gave him the story line to write about. I do, however, believe the lyrics are his.

Never before have I heard, "Pull back the sheets/ Oh my God, a rubber" in an opera. No one else can convey finding a condom as idiotic to the point of hysterics eloquently as him. The lyrics make the whole concept of the R&B opera to me. I would LOVE to bring this over to a friend's house and watch it while having a few drinks. It would be hysterical to see their expressions when R Kelly sings about a midget defecating himself.

I actually looked through this guide the other day on somethingawful.com. It's a funny as the opera and clearly demonstrates the insanity of the lyrics. Allow me to provide you with a sampling:

Identify the character who spoke each of these lines:

1. "That's right, nigger, I was there."
2. "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."
3. "God, please don't let this man open the closet."
4. "Don't give me that mack shit please."
5. "Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax."

I knew it was a Shakespearian tragedy! Just the one question clearly portrays the nature of both the opera and the cliff notes. I'm convinced everybody needs this in their lives.