I might have to fill a few people in on the back story here. This is my blog post when the events actually happened but let me see if I can fill you in a little more. A man named Brian Nichols was to appear in court for tying up his girlfriend and holding her hostage and raping her at gunpoint for 3 days. On his court date, he took a gun from the bailiff and shot and killed his judge and 2 other policemen and went on a shooting spree in Atlanta, eventually killing 5 people. His last hostage was Ashley Smith, a girl with a bad past, and she talked him into turning himself in using a book titled, "The Purpose-Driven Life." She was later revered as a hero and wrote her own book which was released recently titled, "Unlikely Angel."
The book was released about a month ago now and in it she reveals something that she never told police: Brian Nichols, the crazy mass-murderer, asks her if she had any pot and she doesn't. She does, however, have crystal meth and gives it to him. Instead of invoking sock-puppet theatre for the following conversation, I am going to depart from the norm and use Gap-clothed mannequins:
Brian: Do you have any marijuana?
Ashley: No, I'm fresh out. I do have crystal meth though. It's tasty. Do you want it? It's probably a good idea to give you uppers since you've killed 5 people today.
Brian: Yes, will you cook it for me?
Ashley: Sure thing, I love playing housewife. You know I watched my husband die from a knifing, that makes me gangsta too! Let's go cook it in the bathtub.
Brian: Ok, good idea. Man, I could really use some uppers after killing people.
Ashley: Man, you have a rippling chest! Very sexy and powerful!
Brian: Yes I do. Would you like some?
Ashley: No, I'm still high from earlier. Besides, you need all the uppers you can get!
Don't believe me? Read it here. What shade of moron is she to offer him drugs? Why not say, "I don't have any ganja," and stop talking! And I didn't show her book on Amazon so you could buy it, I put it on there so you can mock it.
0 comments:
Post a Comment