Instead of blogging last week, I got caught up in Amber's many Internet trysts. Sadly enough, it's the only girl talk I've been getting recently. Her stories are more successful than a guy I know. We'll call him Satchel.

I want to take a moment and give you some background on him. Satchel is a good friend of mine; I've known him for about 3 years. He's good looking, funny, sincere, and well-liked: an all-around great guy. Every girl I know has had a crush on him before becoming friends with him, although he'll never admit this. He's 21 and is putting himself through school at UGA. He's into courting more than dating: once he knows it couldn't work long term with a girl, he'll end things. Satchel also says once he finds the right girl, he has no problem committing.

He is also the only person I know that can say, "I'm going to go out on a date Friday," "I'm going to have a girl over to watch a movie tonight," or "I'm going to go to the bars tonight and kiss a girl," and actually succeed 100% of the time.

My point is any girl would be lucky to date him.

So one night Satchel decides to branch out to the world of Internet dating. He ventures to eharmony.com and completes his free personality profile. Satchel answers the questions honestly, saying he's looking for love and wouldn't mind getting married if he found the right girl.

An hour later and a what seems like a million questions later, Satchel gets his results: eharmony said, "thanks but no thanks." They gave him some bogus response about how they weren't looking for somebody with his personality at this time and thanked him.

Man, it must suck to get turned down by a website.

Especially one with millions of lonely desperate women...

Update:
I went to eharmony and filed my own personality profile. The good news is it accepted my application, the bad news is I didn't have any matches. Eharmony thinks I have hope, potential.

I asked Satchel whether or not what I experienced (no matches in 6 million friggin' people) was the same message he received. He said the site was meaner to him. Satchel also wanted me to convey that after a second try he was allowed on the site.