"My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."
***American Beauty***

"Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door- that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh- after that I sorta space out for an hour... Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work."
***Office Space***

In the spirit of VegasGustan's funny blog about work and exactly how little of it we do, I would like to take you through my day yesterday, and what will most likely be my day today as well:

Roll in at 9:00AM. Late person buys breakfast for the entire office so we actually are pretty punctual around here. Well some of us are. I eat a lot of free breakfasts. We order the food, wait for it to come, and then sit in front of the TV while we eat it and talk. Next we brush the crumbs off and go and make balloons for the showroom and parking lot and then put them out.

Now it's 11:00AM. Time for coffee. After a leisure cup everyone sits down at his desk and pulls out yesterday's customers and reviews who to call. Make about 3 phone calls and don't leave messages when no one answers. Check e-mail, blah, blah, blah.
Between 12:30 and 2:00PM I take everyone's order for lunch and drive around town to get it. Eat in front of the TV once again. Afterwards talk to a customer who ends up having bad credit.

4:00PM and the lot is dead again. Starbucks time! Get money and run to Starbucks where I inevitably blow money on books for myself as well. Take another customer. This one owes more money on her trade than it's worth and can't get financed.

Dick around, make a few more phone calls, update inventory list. It's 6:00PM and I'm outta there.

Yeah, fifteen minutes sounds about right...