Dear Bloggers,

I haven't posted in awhile. (I have been holding onto a piece of unintentional porn I found in an owner's manual at work that I wanted to post, but I'm too damn lazy to fire up the scanner. I will get to it this week, I promise.)

I've felt uninspired since the recent smack down I experienced at the election polls. My roommate, friends, and entire family are republican so I've had my face in the mud for quite some time now. That's okay, I forgive you.

Hope it's hot enough in Hell for you.

After looking at an old scrapbook last night, and once again seeing it today, I would like to talk about my last name and how I've never seen it spelled right. For the record it's of the German/Austrian nature if you're interested. I'm so freaking sick of seeing misspelled that I can't wait to get married and dump this name.

Potential suitors- you must meet the following criteria:

• Last name can be no longer than 2 syllables.
• If it's true love, the last name can be 3 syllables, but must also be extremely English. For example, Worthington or Patterson.
• Last names cannot be hyphenated. I do not want to be a Frost-McArthur. Trading in 1 bitch of a name for 2 small ones won't work.
• As appealing Smith or Jones is at the moment, I also don't want to be one of those because that means you used to have an awful last name that Immigration was smart enough to change. Even a history of a confusing name won't do.