Monday, January 14, 2008

Murder Kroger and also Prostitution Is Funny

Will just sent me this e-mail:

From: Will
Sent: Monday, January 14, 2008 4:34 PM
To: Jamie
Subject: RE:

I haven’t heard this song yet, but I think you might enjoy the lyrics:

http://attractiveeightieswomen.com/lyrics.html#murderkroger

(the frontman is former R&B cartoonist Mack Williams)


Yes, it's a song about my Murder Kroger. In fact, his song mirrors my post about it so awesomely, only his version rhymes (which in my opinion makes it way better):

down on ponce where the call girls roam
and the homeless trannies won't leave you alone
just a block or so past the Clermont lounge
sits the deadliest grocery store in town
it’s a good place to go if you wanna buy crack
but if you go there for groceries you may never come back

(CHROUS)
It’s murder
Murder Kroger
It’s murder
Murder Kroger

It’s a grocery store with a deadly twist
You’ll get shot in the head for your shopping list
Murder Kroger

it’s the worst place to shop in all of Atlanta
you could lose your life over twelve pack of Fanta
When you leave your car don’t forget your mace
unless you wanna be stabbed in the face
by an angry bum with a switchblade knife
I hope those hot pockets were worth your life

(CHROUS)

The odds are good you won’t come back alive
and your friends will all hear about it on Fox 5
Murder Kroger

It’s murder Kroger
It’s murder Kroger
It’s murder Kroger
Both reference Clermont Lounge, transvestites, dying while leaving your car, and angry homeless people. And that, fellow bloggettes, is quite a list.

Will often declares my neighborhood "deadly" and shoots me the crazy eye when I recommend my apartment building to him for his big move to Atlanta, but I just smile. This weekend I saw my very first prostitute drop-off, and it was on my street no less. And when I caught up with the black Mercedes at the red light and I saw the man reach over to the passenger seat and hit the power button to raise the seat from its recline, was I scared? Hell no, I just laughed and laughed and laughed.

3 comments:

dont eat the token said...

Eeek! I'm glad you carry your mace. I keep mine in my center console and pocket whilst I traverse the streets of Minneapolis at night.

Love that he got Fanta to rhyme with Atlanta!

How's your puppy? I would love to see more pics and read more stories about him! (was that him on a previous post, the happy german shepard?)

citizen student said...

honestly,

i haven't commented in ages becausei forgot all about my blog.

fuck my blog.

i'm a drunk buti ikeep reading

heath! heath why!!!

what's going on hun?

dont eat the token said...

Just for fun: Now that I've seen a few episodes of "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" I think of it when I see your wallpaper!

I would totally bomb on that show. Like, the bad kind.

 

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