Forget that Slam Poetry Jam, the newest thing is to publicly humiliate yourself by reading your childhood diary in public forums. Apparently it's become so popular that TV execs are picking up the readings for a TV show. I'd be all over that if it was within MARTA distance, but since MARTA doesn't cross the Mason-Dixon line, this will have to do:(I am going to copy as is. Proves that I wasn't always the grammatical genius that I am today. Last names are dropped in case anyone Googles themselves and finds the entry the crazy girl wrote when she was 9.)
4.22.91
Dear Diary,
Guess what my mom did? She rearranged my room! Now I don't know wear anything is! I gotta talk to you later, the boys are agertaving me.
I really need to talk to you now. I just lost my 2nd best friend, Michelle S. I just told her Friday that I was bringing Leigh C. to my dad's house, and now she hates me.
Today Beth L. is beinging like my best friend even though Leigh is my all time best friend. But it is pretty sad to lose your 2nd best friend. Well, I am going to go draw with Beth on the chalkboard so see you later.
I'm in after school now. Beth is still in homework. The questions were too hard so I'm going to ask Kevin for some help when I get home.
About Michelle- I don't think that this is a one day "Let's hate Jamie," I think this is for real. Plus I hated it to be around my birthday too. Should I talk to Mrs. Danford about it? I just don't know what to do. Even Julie won't play with me, she's with Michelle. I'm so lonely.
Well, should I let Missy R. be my friend or not? Sometimes I like her, and sometimes she drives me up a wall!
I can't talk about Missy when Michelle doesn't like me anymore. Beth is goofing off with Andrea and Dohn. Up! Beth just got into trouble! Oh! What am I going to do with Michelle? It's so awful.
You know, sometimes I wish that Leigh could go to after school. Sometimes it can be so lonely without her! Heh! I just remered tonight's pizza night. Maybe Mom can order a pizza. She probly won't anyways. Oh well. It's time for a snack so I got to put you away, okay? Bye.
Well, I'm back from snack. Still nobody asked of they wanted to play with me. Why me? My life is so misrable, there's no way out. Why me? Why me? Yeah! My mom is here, gotta go. Bye.
I was just thinking, why should I let a second grader boss me around? They can be bitches sometimes. That's it! No more second graders!
Guess what? I come down to see if Josh would roller skate with me, so we roller skate, and all of a suden Michelle came out on her knees and her hands folded saying, "Will you be my friend? Would you?"We both stair at her like what happened here, Michelle? We thought that Michelle hated me. Well she did. She even said so. But Michelle thought that I liked Leigh more than her (wich I do). But I said that I like all my friends the same (wich I don't!) Well, I gotta take my shower now. Bye.
I'm nice and clean once again! Thanks to Michelle I can't play with anybody. In other words, I'M PUNISHED FOR PLAYING TOO LATE. Also because I was listening to the TV while doing my homework. I lost Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of watching TV. Hopefully she'll forget about it.
Guess what? My birthday is this Wednesday! Isn't that exciting? I just can't wait, I'll be 10!
7 comments:
I turned 12 in July, so I was super excited. Happy 10th to you. I am actually coming up to Athens in the middle of the week...I think Thursday the 26th. You name the place and I will be there, well anywhere but Weever D's...I want to live to be 50 and that place will clog your arteries faster than Krispy Kreme. Email me if you really do want to meet up. I have friends up there that I was planning on seeing, so I could change dates...who the hell cares.
Thanks for sharing this. It's good to know I'm not alone. I shared some of my diary with Jukebox from those days and it's very painful. All I talked about was how ugly I thought I was and no one wanted to be my friend (I had friends, I just didn't think they were honest friends). See, now, I still have to clarify. Like it matters!
VG- You have cooties! Stay away from me you evil boy!
I'll e-mail you this week.
DET- Now that so many years have past, do you find it funny now? I think that's the point of the readings, therapy through laughter (and then everyone else breathes a sigh of relief knowing they aren't freaks). Now the high school years, I don't know if I'd be able to get on a stage and read those. That's a bit more than I'm prepared to handle right now.
You know, some of this stuff is eerily reminiscent of the "diaries" I've seen on some Porn Sites...scary...really...like, Mark Foley scary.
o.
my.
god.
that's so unreal. wow.
i would feel compelled to share my own horrific childhood experiences of my diary but thankfully for the internets sake, they are in bermuda somewhere. thank jebus!
wow. you were so deep...
Hi. A friend just told me about your post. I run MORTIFIED and simply wanted to thank you.
MORTIFIED is the largest and longest running project of its kind and we're thrilled you enjoy an idea we've worked so hard foir so many years to establish.
Oh. And feel free to check out our book, MORTIFIED: REAL WORDS, REAL PEOPLE, REAL PATHETIC. It comes out in just a few weeks. Info at getmortified.com/book.
Eric- Porn sites AND Mark Foley comparisons? You're scary!
Me- Yes, I've always had a flare for drama.
Mortified- No problem. Excellent idea!
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