In Albany- I've done lost my mind...

No doubting a good night

Rock stars, such as Craig and me, had to get another taste of fame and admiration before we hit the bars.

Friday night at Wild Wings- the bar is packed: a football game on some TVs, a baseball game on some others, and a 10' by 10' wooden stage with a microphone and a karaoke screen.

Craig is the first person to sing. I custom chose his song. A few bars into it the bar explodes in cheers, claps, and whistles. I look to one set of TVs: commercial. I look at the other set: time-out. They're cheering for Craig! Good song choice, Jamie!

During his song I truly understand the bar is full. I don't think I have ever sang in front of a group this large before and I almost psyched myself out.
It's my turn next and I head to the stage. I should point out that I was dressed in a short skirt paired with a "club" shirt. I never dress this trendy and I felt like I didn't even look like me.

I received cheers when I walked to the stage. I picked up my mic and and guy walks to the stage and wishes me good luck. The music starts and I again hear cheers. I look at the tvs: commercials and between play stats. I begin to sing but I hear in the background cat calls playing on the song lyrics (No Doubt - Don't Speak):

I want to be together with you!
I'll make you not speak!
Push this, Darling!

I should have been offended...but I found it hilarious! To Craig's defense, someone did scream "I love you!" when he sang on Tuesday, and it wasn't anyone we knew.

The life of Rock Stars....

Inspired by Zach Braff and my recent bout at Wild Wings, I sang Alanis Morrisette's "Ironic" at karoake and thus have redeemed myself at the bar from last week's bad song choice.

Last week: You know, Jamie, I have to hand it to you: you sing every week, you get up on stage every week, and I really respect that about you.
-- anonymous girl who obviously attends every week

Tonight: Man, that was really good!
Good song choice!
Awesome job!
-- a collection of new raving fans of mine

I have achieved Rock Star status... no autographs please.

Self-love and masturbation

Craig and I decided to spend our Saturday night at our beloved Wild Wings for karaoke. Because it was held on an off night (fellow karaoke followers know it's on Tuesdays and Fridays), no one was there. Okay, maybe 6 people. The point is Craig and I could sing whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted, however many times we wanted. We pick out a table and just start drinking beer and flipping through the book. 3 songs each later, and an unknown consumption of beer, Patrick Lake begins to sing the hit, "Mr. Jones" by Counting Crows.

Zach Braff recently commented on Alanis Morrisette and the lyrics to "Ironic" and how "a traffic jam when you're already late" is not ironic. (I still think that the song as a whole is ironic because the lyrics aren't- blah, it's complicated) But the discussion has led me to examine and re-examine other lyrics of songs I listen to.

Doing this at karaoke is ideal because

1. The song lyrics are projected onto a giant screen in the bar where everybody can read them, and
2. I was drunk.

I start giggling after a proverbial light went off in my (at the time) vacated mind: Mr. Jones is code name for his penis! The singer is singing about sexuality and loneliness. Just replace "Mr. Jones" with "my penis:"

I was down at the New Amsterdam staring at this yellow-haired girl
Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation with this black-haired flamenco dancer
She dances while his father plays guitar
She's suddenly beautiful
We all want something beautiful
I wish I was beautiful
So come dance this silence down through the morning
Cut Maria! Show me some of them Spanish dances
Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones
Believe in me
Help me believe in anything
I want to be someone who believes

Mr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales
Stare at the beautiful women
"She's looking at you. Ah, no, no, she's looking at me."
Smiling in the bright lights
Coming through in stereo
When everybody loves you, you can never be lonely

I will paint my picture
Paint myself in blue and red and black and gray
All of the beautiful colors are very very meaningful
Grey is my favorite color
I felt so symbolic yesterday
If I knew Picasso
I would buy myself a gray guitar and play

Mr. Jones and me look into the future
Stare at the beautiful women
"She's looking at you.
Uh, I don't think so. She's looking at me."
Standing in the spotlight
I bought myself a gray guitar
When everybody loves me, I will never be lonely

I want to be a lion
Everybody wants to pass as cats
We all want to be big big stars, but we got different reasons for that Believe in me because I don't believe in anything
and I want to be someone to believe

Mr. Jones and me stumbling through the barrio
Yeah we stare at the beautiful women
"She's perfect for you, Man, there's got to be somebody for me."
I want to be Bob Dylan
Mr. Jones wishes he was someone just a little more funky
When everybody loves you, son, that's just about as funky as you can be

Mr. Jones and me staring at the video
When I look at the television, I want to see me staring right back at me
We all want to be big stars, but we don't know why and we don't know how
But when everybody loves me, I'm going to be just about as happy as can be
Mr. Jones and me, we're gonna be big stars..

Split personalities of lust and love...it's all there!

When Patrick begins singing the last stanza in which the protagonist (and his penis) watches television and wants to be a "star," I started laughing so hard that all 6 people, and Patrick, stare at me.

Porn and fame--check. Self-love and masturbation--check.

Watching TV tonight I saw that Capital One commercial where you apply for a credit card or use their credit card and you could win an island. I swear the fine print in the commercial read, "Actual prize will vary."

Trading Occupations

After watching an episode of Trading Spaces I decided I would be a much happier person if I were a carpenter. I would be creating something, besides, I would have the same occupation as Jesus. So I just "Googled" (I'm counting the days until "Google" is added to the Scrabble Dictionary as a verb) available carpentry jobs in my area.

One result appeared. With excitement, my trembling hand clicked the link:

US-GA-Atlanta-Mobile Home Skirter/Deck Builder
"Do you have experience in skirting mobile homes, carpentry, building decks and/or installing vinyl siding? If so, you may be qualified for an open position within our company."

Okay, maybe I should go to bed, I have to be at work early tomorrow.

A genuinely insensitive remark:

Did the thought cross anyone else's mind that Florida "had it coming" with the entire election fiasco almost 4 years ago to date?

Posted by Hello

Come to think of it...that may also explain God smiting California with fire for electing Arnold...