I'm knitting my grandmother a hat. I picked knitting back up a few years ago and I have knitted something for all of my family members except my grandmother. I tell myself it's because my grandmother lives out of town.
That hat I'm knitting is a chemo hat. The yarn is softened so it will not irritate the skin after the cancer patient loses her hair. She's 89 and starting her first round of chemotherapy today in Raleigh.
I'm using size 6 double-pointed needles to make the hat. My knitting style is too tight for me to use circular needles. Size 6 means that the yarn is finer and the stitches will be smaller. This translates to more stitches per inch and more time required to complete the hat.
I wonder if I should have used thicker yarn so she'll get it in time.
I'm not having a great time knitting this hat. I love knitting because it quietens my mind, but this time my thoughts circle What if I don't finish it in time? What am I going to do with this hat when it's use is no longer needed? Should I wear it? Reuse the yarn? Sell it? Give it away? Will my grandmother like it? Will she even wear it?
A prayer shawl gets its name not from the wearer, but from the knitter. It's the knitter who prays for the recipient while she knits the shawl and then blesses it upon completion. To receive one is a special thing.
As I'm knitting up the hat, I try to think positive thoughts in the same spirit of the prayer shawl. But with the tink of the needles, I'm hearing two words repeating themselves over and over again: Death hat, death hat, death hat.
I just wish I made her something sooner because I am so not prepared for this.
