Sorry Mom, no grandkids

I

am

joining

a

nunnery.

Phone Call

Dad: Your step-mom was disappointed you didn't like your early Christmas present...
J: No, I liked it. It's just... it's just I liked it so much I bought it for you last year.
Dad: ...We regifted?
J: I saw it at the after-Christmas sale last year and I called step-mom to see if she wanted it since it was marked down 75%. She said yes, so I bought two.
Dad: ...So you already have one?
J: Yup, so at least it matches!
Dad: (calls to step-mom in the other room) You regifted! Jamie bought that for you last year! (shuffling noises of phone getting handed over)
Step-mom: No, I didn't. I bought that for you.
J: Uh, no.
Step-mom: Yes, it was the after-Christmas sale and you said you wanted it, but you didn't want to spend money on it because it wasn't marked down enough.
J: Yeah, that was the tree skirt and you gave it to me for my birthday in April.
Step-mom: ...Oh... well shoot.

How the hell did I miss this?

Next to my apartment building is an underground butch black lesbian club. I mean, I live there; you pick up on these things. It appeared to be an abandoned shack, but every Friday and Saturday nights, the street would line with cars and the shack had people spilling from it until ungodly early morning hours.

Monday morning I noticed the place had burned down and I didn't think to Google it to see what happened until we had another fire last night:


So... holy crap. First of all, I love how even the reporter wasn't sure it was an actual nightclub so he just printed the address (which I redacted). But "as many as 50 Atlanta firemen fought the blaze. It took them about 45 minutes to bring it under control." The shack is was right next door to my building, as in we share a driveway. I was home when all this happened. How did I sleep through this?

And also--mental note--really need to get on top of that renter's insurance thing. Pronto.